


Broken on Trees

by Labyrinth_Layabouts



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fallen!Angel, Fallen!Anna, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-06 23:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1876434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Labyrinth_Layabouts/pseuds/Labyrinth_Layabouts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All I could think about was that I'm just like him. That Lucifer fell and I couldn't be good enough not to follow in his footsteps.</p><p>And for what? For questioning? For doubt? I was such a good soldier, Hael, such a good soldier. I followed every order. Every one. Even when I no longer could do it with a clear conscious, I kept my commands. I followed all of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken on Trees

**Author's Note:**

> Ignoring for the moment that Anna fell before Hael in canon. In my world, this is how it goes. 
> 
> But seriously, there needs to be more Hael fiction out there. What is wrong with the world? All the Anna/Hael. All of it.

 

It was falling. Hael, when I fell, I could feel my wings being ripped from my shoulders. It's a physical falling. The wind was so loud. My eyes stung so much, I couldn't see anything. And it took so long. I thought it'd be quick but it just kept going and going. I thought- at any moment- I'd feel that crash and it'd all be over, it'd finally be over. But it wouldn't end. And all I could think about was that I'm just like him. That Lucifer fell and I couldn't be good enough not to follow in his footsteps.

And for what? For questioning? For doubt? I was such a good soldier, Hael, such a good soldier. I followed every order. Every one. Even when I no longer could do it with a clear conscious, I kept my commands. I followed all of them.

And then- this? All this pain, all this noise. The radio in my head is silent but I can hear their voices echoing in the deafening quiet. I'm so lost. So empty. So _tired _. I never realized how frail the vessels we consume are until my heavenly grace was no longer holding it together. I bleed, over simple things. My body breaks and bruises so easily. And I can't fix it. I can't fix it Hael.__

__I'm stuck in this body of a girl and there's nothing I can do, because everything I did led me to this. Whatever order I broke or doubt I echoed just loud enough was what brought me to this._ _

__Hael- I've never told- I never could bring myself to tell anyone why I doubted. Why things stopped making sense. But when you- when you fell. When they let you fall, you, I stopped believing that every choice they made was perfect._ _

__I watched you. I know it doesn't help you any, but I was right there beside you the whole time. I couldn't know then the sort of pain you were in- I didn't even know what pain was- but I carried you to earth. You were broken on trees and I healed you. Led you. You wouldn't have remembered any of that, I know. But I thought I should tell you._ _

__Hael, I'm sorry. When I fell, my first thought was to find you. I didn't know where you were but I started with your canyon. It's beautiful, Hael. You did such a beautiful job._ _

__And I'm so sorry. Sorry that I didn't find you sooner. Sorry that I had to find you like this. Under the earth I thought I saved you from. You were supposed to be whole. You were supposed to be safe. I thought- I thought if I could just find you. Hael- I just. I never thought I'd have to face this alone._ _

__I'm so sorry Hael. I'm so sorry. And- I didn't know what it was then, but I- I do now._ _

__I love you, Hael. I love you._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Image source for photo used in banner. http://www.rededgeimages.com/view/9566923282/pine-forest-on-horizon-of-snow-covered-landscape


End file.
